Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Bollywood, Spog, and Giant Bathtubs

Hello folks - Shannon here. As you may have gathered from the title of this post, lunchclub today (like most days) was filled with fascinating conversation. You know, I'm not so sure that this small, yet consistent gathering of rather common folks couldn't just solve some of our world's problems if given the opportunity. Perhaps this blog is the first step to really get our valuable thoughts out there into the larger society.

Claire & Lynn joined us briefly at the beginning as they shared with us some of Lynn's recent roommate woes. Apparently a former psychotic roommate of hers is now working to become a counselor. A few of us took issue with that. It was about this time that Ryan excitedly mentioned there was some fun-shaped pasta in his soup. We're not quite sure about Ryan.

The conversation soon turned to my own mail (not male) drama as of late. For some reason, I'm not receiving all of my mail, particularly several of my monthly bills. Apparently a collection agency has an incorrect address for me (though I'm not behind in any of my bills), but my husband & I can't seem to find someone who is actually willing to correct our address and solve the problem. The rest of the group seemed genuinely concerned had some very helpful tips for me. Ryan suggested I shorten my address, Jorge thought perhaps my identity has been stolen, and Liz decided that maybe it was actually me that was stealing someone else's identity. Stephen & Jorge both thought I should really get my credit report checked ASAP, and I'm pretty sure Deasy is going to have the whole thing solved before I get home tonight - she asked some very insightful questions. Oliver listened intently, then ran back to his office. What do you think - should I be nervous?

Somehow we moved on to the political world, discussing the recent elections in Israel & Venezuela. Stephen offered some great insight into current world leaders, as well as recapping a poll for us that ranked all of our American Presidents by popularity. Ryan soon posed the question, "What exactly does America have to offer the rest of the world?" Liz & Deasy decided celebrities are probably our biggest asset, so Jorge & Ryan thought perhaps we could start trading celebrities for oil. See what I mean? Solving the world's problems, right here at lunch club!

Hollywood brought us to Bollywood, and we tried to decipher where exactly the name came from. Deasy thought maybe it came from it's home city of Bombay (which apparently changed names recently - I must have missed that), which Stephen later confirmed for us through his awesome research skills. Somehow we jumped from Bollywood to space, as Stephen told us about a recent satellite crash somewhere in the universe. Apparently there are some problems with the excess of debris floating around now, to which I suggested the use of a giant magnet. I got laughed at. Come on guys - what's wrong with that? Liz also educated us a bit on "space junk" as we discussed the possibility of shipping off our garbage towards the sun so it will simply disintegrate. Jorge decided that was a bad idea as it would like produce too much "spog" (get it? smog - but in space? It was funny, ok?).

We closed out the lunch-time with a brief discussion on former presidents (I think this was still related to Stephen's poll) and some of the more obscure ones we never really learned much about. I mentioned the only thing I knew about President Taft was the fact that he was a very large man and once got stuck in a bathtub. Stephen informed us all that he actually had to have a custom tub made just for him because of his size. Jorge decided that must have been when the reflecting pool was built.

History, politics, space science (ok - maybe it's called rocket science?), identity theft - it's all in a day's work here in our little nondescript office building. Well, actually it happens during off-hours. Just think what we accomplish during the rest of the day!

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

You have just died of dysentery!

Jorge here…

In resumption of the lunch club blog, I have decided to combine a couple of days’ worth to make it more interesting.


Talk started out about the Grammys. Consensus was that the performances were better than usual. I personally didn’t watch the Grammys (except for the Radiohead bit on YouTube), but I will take the groups word for it. We also deduced that the girl Chris Brown beat up was Rhianna. Seriously, what are the odds that he would be arrested and she would be in a “car accident” on the same day?

The drama of the Grammys then turned into drama in the office (or at least former employees who were very dramatic). I won’t go into details to protect the innocent. ;) We also decided there are varying degrees of dramaticness (I know it is not a word). The ultimate is, of course, Drama Queen. But there are those not so widely known degrees of drama personnel like Drama Peasant, Drama Serf, Drama Jester, and Shannon’s desire to be known as Drama Princess.

Ryan proceeded to tell of his lack of drama over the weekend. Apparently, a certain big city airport in the South does not mind if you were to drive right up to the control tower and hang out for a while. Ryan, Liz, and Liz’s husband drove around the airport trying to capture video of planes landing (without seeing one for an hour and a half). I indicated the planes were halted do to crazies wandering around the tarmac. Ryan thought it was pretty eerie that anyone could walk up and touch the control tower without any security stopping them.

Forgive me for not being good at transitions, but somehow the conversation steered into the Oregon Trail. Stephen then injected the thought about what it would be like if Oregon Trail similarities were included in sports related games. “Your Wide Received has just died from dysentery!” Another childhood game that was brought was MASH (the fortune-telling game children would play to determine your future house, spouse, status in life, etc.). Shannon and Lynn came to life in trying to explain the game to Ryan, who seemed to have interest in making the game make sense. He has been watching too much Lost.


Oliver attended the Grammys and told us the stories thereof. One of the highlights he mentioned was the Russian cab driver who appeared to have just stepped off the plane and straight into the cab. I will call him Vladdie the Cabbie since Oliver can’t remember his name. Vladdie the Cabbie has an obsession with AC/DC and Metallica…which was all he talked about. Oliver also was within spittin’ distance of Paris Hilton at some point in the night.

More Grammy talked ensued with which I have to say I blacked out because I don’t remember any of it…except that Claire and Liz were very eager to dish on the latest gossip and clothing choices of some performers (M.I.A.). Thanks to Stephen, also our multimedia resource, for providing the picture.

Ok, here is another transition fail. We eventually ended up on remembering past bad gifts some of us received from relatives. Shannon educated us on the department store that is Gottschalks. Most of us never heard of Gottschalks (which we made Shannon spell it several times…successfully I might add).

There you have it. Now I am going to go ice the joints in my fingers.

Friday, February 6, 2009

Hey! Over Here! Remember Us?!

So let's cut to the chase. We didn't intend to go for so long without posting. It just kind of... happened. Which is a shame because dang have we had some good discussions in the past six months! But we all agreed that we could extend a little more effort to bring back the blogging. So in that spirit, let me get everyone caught up on personnel changes in the past six months.

Out: Ann, Monroe, & Evans all bid us adieu and moved on to bigger and better things. Monroe & Evans are all happy and married - not to each other, mind you - and Ann shipped off to the great state of Texas for her new gig. Also out: any previously mentioned interns. We loved them all. But they only stick around for a semester. We have three new ones now, which we can introduce at a later date.

Birthed: Joy, Stephen's little bundle of baby, made her arrival in October. No other lunch club babies on the horizon.

Recap of Current Lunch Clubbers Participants:

Jorge: Lunch club president and papa to precious Phoenix, who is coming up on his first birthday!

Ryan: Keeps us up to date on technology, new music, and all things Iceland. He's married to Danae, who doesn't work here, but does get the occasional shout-out.

Stephen: The table's sports guru and dad to the aforementioned new baby Joy.

Oliver: Still really loves fruit, and this weekend he is going to the Grammys. Jeaaaaaalous.

Lynn: Find her sitting at the right hand of President Jorge, most often with a cup of cheese dip in front of her.

Claire: Lynn's partner in cheese-dip-related crime. Always hilariously mishears stuff that happens at the table.

Earl: Still our honorary lunch club dad. We like to remind him often of his advanced age.

Shannon: Lunch club's daughter of the Midwest who finally joined the rest of us in watching "The Office!" Woooo!

Andres: One of our more casual attenders, and the knower of all music trivia answers. Ever. He's dad to Gabriel (also about to turn one) and Isabella.

Marie: Mom of two and one very funny lady. She keeps chocolate candy at her desk, so she gets lots of visitors.

Deasy: Faithfully attends lunch club on days when she's here... lucky duck works here part time and spends the other days with her two kiddos.

Jennifer: Mom to little Marie (not to be confused with Lunch Club Marie) and maker of unintentionally funny statements.

W: Company leader who pops his head in from time to time.

Webster: Called such for his outrageously extravagant vocabulary, with which he impresses us when he stops by to tell one of his crazy stories.

And I'm Liz. Everyone claims they're going to help write this thing, but let's be honest. You'll probably be reading a lot from me..

Now that we've got all that settled, how about a summary of everything we talked about over the past six months? Yes? You're in luck. I just created this awesome Wordle. You can click to view it larger.

Wordle: Lunch Club
Here's hoping we see each other again sooner than six months from now!



Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Alright, alright already!

Greetings to all our readers, near and far! We make our triumphant return to blogging today because... well, we've just been gone for far too long. Lunch club has had a rough go of it for the past couple months - our busy times keep us away, eating at our desks or as we dash from one meeting to another. But fear not! We are committed to the club and all it stands for, and so we will make a diligent effort to return to recapping our lunches for you, dear readers.

To bring everyone up to speed on life happenings within the club, here's what you've been missing over the past couple months:

Welcome to the world, baby Gabriel! Andres' bouncing baby boy made his world debut on March 31st, just a few days after little Phoenix was born. Baby boys everywhere, which made the following news even more exciting...

Stephen and his wife are expecting a little baby GIRL in October. We are all looking forward to meeting baby Joy in just a few months!

Thus ends the baby news, but in other life developments, Evans and her beau Michael got engaged! They're going to be married on the beach in September. Woo hoo!

In May we had the sad departure of Beth from our office, as she moved back home to Mississippi. A true Southern belle can't be kept from her roots for too long! And while we say farewell to Beth, we say hello to...

...Monroe! Monroe came to us in our hour of need and for that we are grateful! And BONUS, she is also getting married soon, so more fun to celebrate! Hurray!

And that about sums it up, to tell you the truth. Lunch club conversations have been a challenge since all our favorite shows went on hiatus for the summer. We've kept ourselves entertained with mocking Claire & Lynn for their hardcore addiction to cheese dip. And my aversion to the word "moist" provided at least a couple day's worth of fodder. (Seriously, though, it is kind of a weird/disturbing word, yes?) Earl got a really, really bad sunburn. Oliver continues in his quest to eat more fruit than is humanly possible. And so on and so forth.

So here we are, back again, and ready to entertain. Happy reading!


Friday, March 28, 2008

Lunch Club Baby Announcement!

Exciting announcement! Jorge is a dad! Little Phoenix was born last night, weighing in at 8 pounds. Everyone is doing well, and mom is recooperating after a tough labor. Congratulations to our president on this wonderful news!


Thursday, January 24, 2008

Chickens and the Multi-Talented

Wow, it has been a long time, friends! Too long. And I'm afraid it will get worse before it gets better, as we have entered the beginning of our long busy season here in our little office.

First things first, the most important development is that Leigh's baby finally made HER appearance to the world on Friday, January 11th. Lovely Elizabeth was born a few days past due, weighing in at a terrific 9 lbs, 5 oz. Mom and Dad and little one are all doing well and we've all been to visit, of course! Leigh actually brought her by just this week, and she is already growing and strong. So exciting!

Well, back to today and our always lively discussions. As usual, things started off with discussions of entertainment, in this case, television. A certain faction of our group (myself included) were very excited that just one week from today our favorite show, LOST, comes back with new episodes! Earl and Claire, meanwhile, confessed that they had watched the new show "Moment of Truth," where contestants answer questions while strapped to a lie detector, all to win big money. We debated for a while as to the merits of watching such a show (sample quote from me: "Congratulations, you now have no soul.") and considered that perhaps the money contestants won could be put towards the lawsuits and divorce proceedings they would most likely have to go through on account of their "honesty."

This devolved into a discussion of how one could "fool" a polygraph - like the character in Ocean's 13 stepping on a tack. From there we moved to other types of tests - drug tests, breathalyzers - and how one might also fool these tests. Marie was eating something with poppyseeds, prompting a warning that they could actually cause a positive result on a drug test. (Ryan corroborated this fact by remarking that it had been proven true on "Mythbusters.")

Talking about drug tests caused half the crowd to dissolve into quoting lines from our other favorite show, "The Office." Shannon, who doesn't watch the show, said quietly while observing us, "It's like another language."

Somehow this led to Marie running off to her desk to print out a joke that W sent to her. We were a little alarmed when she came back with about 5 sheets of paper ("How long is this joke!?!") but soon were giggling at the various celebrity "answers" to the age-old question, "Why did the chicken cross the road?" We pondered how others at our table would answer the question: Earl would ask how much it was going to cost for the chicken to cross the road, Webster's answer would be full of long words we didn't understand, etc.

After the chicken banter died down, we switched gears and talked about the continuing sad news of actor Heath Ledger's death. Marie mentioned that she'd had Brokeback Mountain in her Netflix queue for a while, and that since his death, the wait list had grown even more.

This led to an open discussion of movies we had or hadn't seen recently. I mentioned that my husband had gone to see Cloverfield, and gave it a "meh" review. We digressed into monster and scary movies of other kinds. Marie polled the group as to whether Jurassic Park was too scary for her kids to see. The general consensus was probably so, especially since the younger one had recently been frightened at an outdoor showing of E.T. at a local theatre.

From there the conversation turned to where else one could see outdoor movies shown locally. Shannon piped up that she and her husband had gone to see a movie at a "lawnchair" theatre in a quaint little country hamlet located near our city. I teased that along with your movie you could probably get some good ole' moonshine, too. Jorge followed up with a joke about "those darn Duke boys."

...which prompted Marie to mention that that was another movie she never saw, The Dukes of Hazzard, which prompted Deasy to offer her opinion on which Duke boy was the cutest, which somehow prompted someone else to bring up another buddy-team television show from that era, "Starsky & Hutch." Jorge and Marie wracked their brains trying to remember the name of the hit song that Hutch (actor David Soul) had recorded.

And THAT, my friends, is how we segued into our final topic of the day, which was actors who have crossed over into singing careers (or the other way around). We covered the good, the bad, and the mediocre (most fell into the latter category).

At long last, W dropped in for a visit and immediately knew the answer to the song title in question... "Don't Give Up On Us." Of course!

And that is how a very long and VERY involved lunch club came to an end.

Until next time,


Friday, January 4, 2008

Does anyone need to make a movement??

Happy New Year Lunch Clubbers! It's Lynn here!

This new year at our office began with bittersweet feelings. Sadly, we had to say good-bye to our favorite Mommy-to-be, Leigh. Although we will miss her greatly, she is now taking the time to focus on preparing for the little one who will be joining us shortly. We are currently 2 days post-due date, so we will be meeting him or her any moment now! I'm not sure who is anticipating the new bundle of joy more, Leigh or the rest of our staff. It's a close one!!

That was the "bitter" part of our bittersweet new year, but the "sweet" part is just as exciting! We have now welcomed a new lunch clubber to the team, who is taking over for Leigh's position. Her name is Claire, and we are so pleased and excited to have her with us! Although Claire has only been with us for a few days, we already know that she will be an important asset to our staff. And she has been a great addition to our lunch club as well! We will have her posting the blog in no time! :-)

Today's lunch club was about as random as it could be. We began by talking about Grant, who has been a dear, dear friend of our staff for over 30 years. Grant is truly a "man of all trades," having done everything from being a janitor to a midwife! We were recalling countless memories we had with Grant doing everything he could to help us with random tasks, which caused us to notice several similarities between him and our very own Earl. Although Earl has a specific job at our organization, he also tends to take on various odd tasks and jobs in an effort to make our office cleaner, safer, and more efficiant. Earl and a few other clubbers told us a story about when he first started working here and there was a plumbing "situation." Earl called a plumber to come and clean out the pipes, and gave us a riveting impression of the plumber, who insisted on not only showing Earl the various unmentionables he had found in the sewer lines, but also describing, in great detail, what each item was and where it came from. That story reminded Earl of when he had first moved into his house with his family. Earl and his wife had chosen to upgrade their wood floors, so naturally Earl was very cautious and protective of this great investment. One morning, he came downstairs to find a small puddle of water seeping through the floor from the bathroom. Panic ridden, he immedietely called to have it taken care of. In order to determine the cause of the overflow, the plumbers watched the sewer opening in the culdesac intensely, trying to track the flow of, umm, substances, through the pipes. After watching for some time, one of the plumbers came to Earl's door, stood there with a very serious and intent expression on his face, with a large cigar hanging out of his mouth, and said, "Does anyone need to make a movement? We need something to track." Not sure how to respond, Earl calmly replied "No thanks, we're good." Needless to say, the plumbers were still able to fix the pipes, and Earl's new floor escaped with barely a hint of damage.

One last thing before we close for today. The day we have long anticipated has finally arrived. Tomorrow afternoon, in a small church located in a small town not far from our small office, our very own Ryan will finally be married to his lovely fiance, Danae. We are all so excited for them and cannot wait to be there to share in the joy of their wedding!

Until next time,